Engagement

Well this semester has been a crazy one, but the crazy has been mostly good.
It's not much of a secret that Barry and I got engaged on Sunday afternoon.
I thought this would be an appropriate place to tell the story.

There are two parts to the story, so I hope nobody minds that I share both parts.

Part One: The Ring

So, a couple of weeks ago Barry bought me a ring of a website called brilliantearth.com which is a jewelry company that uses non-conflict diamonds.
The day after he bought the ring, he was talking to his mom on the phone about how he bought and just expressing his hopes of this being good timing and God's timing. In the middle of their phone conversation, my dad called him.

Apparently my family had just inherited this ring from a very close and dear family friend Elizabeth Whitney, this ring was her mothers wedding ring and is over 100 years old. My dad had told Barry if had wanted it that he was more than welcome to it but there was no pressure. Immediately he felt confirmation on God's timing and called to cancel the ring he had previously ordered.
Last Monday Barry called my dad and asked him if he go down to Phoenix on Thursday and look at the ring and meet with my dad.

Before I continue on, it is important that everyone knows that I am a very hard person to surprise, Barry has struggled with that all of our dating relationship so what happens next is crucial to the surprise element.

Thursday comes around and I call Barry after my class gets out at 11:40 to ask if he wants to hang out and make lunch together. His response, "I can't I'm sorry, I am running errands on the east side of Flagstaff for my mom." (His mom is a Realtor and has had houses in Flagstaff before so that was not hard to believe)
I was bummed out but just went home and worked on homework. However, he was really in Phoenix talking to my dad and getting the ring.

Friday comes around and Barry asks if he can take me out on a date after church on Sunday, at first I said yes. I later realized that Sunday was college lunch at my church and I really wanted to go, I kept asking him if we could go on a date another time but he was very adamant about taking me out on Sunday.
I talked with my roommate Alida about it and she convinced me to go out on Sunday. She made two valid points; I am allergic to the majority of the food at college lunch and there will be more college lunches, so agreeing with her I said yes to our lunch date.

Sunday comes around, and after church Barry and I get in the car for our date. He handed me a single red rose, at the time I didn't think anything of it because it wasn't out of the ordinary. He asked me to close me eyes because he wanted where we were going on our date to be a surprise.
We drove for about 20 minutes, and all I could think about was, "where the heck are we going?"
Finally, we parked and Barry told me to open my eyes, we were surrounded by a a huge field.
I gathered together that we were going on a picnic, but not only was it a picnic, it was my very first picnic.

Barry gathered the blankets, the picnic basket, and the food we headed down towards the field, it was in that moment that I realized this was the field that we had built our first snowman together (and my first snowman ever).
I watched Barry set everything up for our picnic and went over to sit down but he asked me to stay standing. He finished setting up the picnic walked over to me and gave me a hug. I looked up at him and he had this huge smile on his face. I asked him why he was being so smiley and he said, "I just love you a lot" I responded by saying, "I love you a lot too."
Then, he backed up, got down on on knee, and said, "Will you marry me?"
I was in so much shock that I was speechless, I was certain he hadn't talked to my dad and this was so unexpected. Through the shock, teary eyes, and joy I managed to say, "Yes!"

Barry and I are so excited that God has brought us this far and walked with us through our relationship. We cannot wait to see what he has in store and what he wants to teach us through our engagement and marriage.

We are planning to get married on the 18th of June 2011.

A Light In a Dark Place

I recently got a job at Chili's, and it didn't take long for me to realize that I am the only Christian who works there, at least the only one who is vocal about it.

I really enjoy working at Chili's and I love all the people who work there, it is a great group of people to work with, but I quickly realized that I have a much larger responsibility to these people then just simply being their co-worker.
Chili's is a fairly "dark" place in regards to Jesus and his Spirit, seeing as no one there is really a believer and many of them have very corrupted minds.

At, first I was honored and excited that I was the only Christian there because I thought this would be such an amazing evangelistic opportunity, I however have been quickly boggled down and drained.
The goal of many of my coworkers, at least the male ones, is to corrupt me and take away my innocence and naivety. They are constantly making filthy, perverted jokes, that I am completely clueless as to why they are funny, and then I am teased for my innocence all throughout my shift.

I am not offended or annoyed at the situation but it didn't take long to realize that being a light in a dark place is a lot harder than it seems. I have to constantly be on my guard and guarding myself, and I have to be constantly asking Jesus to fill me with wisdom, strength and words to continue on. Fighting "alone" can be exhausting.

The great thing is, even though from an outsiders perspective I look like I am fighting alone and I am fighting against all odds. I have the Almighty Jesus Christ on my side, who knows no limitations or boundaries.

If I didn't have that hope to cling to daily, I don't think I could make it through my shifts everyday.

The Forest

The other day I was having a pretty bad day, I don't know exactly what was wrong but there were several things that played into my mood that day.
I tried to forget about everything and enjoy the day but it wasn't working, so I decided to go on a walk in the forest.

I was gone for five hours.

I wasn't walking the whole time though, I found this amazing rock, and I just sat there for hours pouring my heart out to Jesus asking him to bring me comfort, healing, and peace.

Out of this five hour adventure in the forest came this:

I've come to you lost and confused
I've come to you full of questions
I've come to you wondering how this could be.
I'm not worthy of your affection
Still you love me
and you call me by name
Still you heal me
and you touched my wounds
Still you listen to me
and you've given me answers
I've come to you hungry and broken
I've come to you with opposition
I've come to you weak and looking for strength
I'm not worthy of your affection
Still you love m
and you call me by name
Still you heal me
and you touched my wounds
Still you listen to me
and you've given me answers
You've taken my brokenness and made me whole
You've taken my fears and replaced them with courage
You've taken my insecurities and shown me I'm worthy of your affection
Still you love me
and you call me by name
Still you heal me
and you touched my wounds
Still you listen to me
and you've given me answers

The I am

Insecurity.

We all have them, we all struggle with them, some more than others but we all have them.

Insecurity is probably the biggest sin I struggle with, and lately I have been battling with it quite a lot. The enemy definitely uses it to tear me down when I am already at my weakest.

I just finished reading "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell and the last night I listened to a God Story sermon with some friends, and God as shown me that it's not about me or my insecurities but about him.

In "Velvet Elvis" Rob Bell mentioned something that absolutely blew my mind:

"T'Shuva

The Hebrew word t'shuva means "to return". Return to the people we were originally created to be. The people God is remaking us into.

God makes us in His image. We reflect the beauty and creativity and wonder of the God who made us. And Jesus calls us to return to our true selves. The pure, whole people God originally intended us to be, before we veered off of course.

Somewhere in you is the you whom you were made to be.

We need you to be you.

We don't need a second anybody. We need the first you.

The problem is that the image of God is deeply scarred in each of us, and we lose trust in God's version of our story. It seems too god to be true. And so we go searching for identity. We achieve and we push and we shop and we work out and we accomplish great things, longing to repair the image. Longing to find an identity that feels right.

Longing to be comfortable in our own skin.

But the thing we are searching for is not somewhere else. It is right here. And we can only find it when we give up the search, when we surrender, when we trust. Trust that God is already putting us back together. "

So there is that.

Then the God Story sermon from last night was about Moses.
When God confronts Moses in the burning bush, Moses asks who God is. His response? I am.
Moses then goes on to tell God all about his insecurities and how is not capable to accomplish the task God has called him to.

What does God do? He says I am who I am.
He immediately turns the attention away from Moses and onto himself. Why? Because it is not about Moses, it's about God.
This really got to me. Why am I insecure? It's not about me, it's about God.
God created me, he loves me and he wants to use me, but it is all about Him. Because without him I am nothing.

I am, continue to show me that it is all about you and not about me, wash away my insecurities and show me who it is that you have created me to be.

Jacob

So the other night my friends Rachel, Eric and I listened to a God Story sermon on part of the book of Genesis. The part we listened to was about the lives of Isaac and Jacob.
Well, not only was my mind blown from this story but I realized how much I love Jacob.

Now, I know that there are some people out there who don't like Jacob, because he is a deceiver, but I think Jacob deserves a second chance.

What I love about Jacob is, that God used him.

Jacob stole his brother's birthright and deceived his family, but he paid, and God still used him.

Jacob had to work 7 years to get his wife Rachel but ended up getting Lea so he had to work 7 more years just get Rachel.Jacob wrestles with God, and has his hip injured, and Jacob is living in the fear of the fact that his brother Esau wants to kill him.

So yea Jacob is a deceiver but I think he paid because God disciplines those he loves, which is probably why God changed his name to Israel (wrestles with God).

That is the other thing that I love about Jacob so not only did God use him, he chose to name his people after him!

This deceitful lying man, God chose to name HIS people after HIM!

It amazes me, and gives me hope.

There is a point in the story where Jacob finally sees what his father Isaac and his grandfather Abraham had.
Rachel, Eric and I were talking about it and Isaac and Abraham made sacrifices and had struggles but they knew what it meant to follow God, it was different with Jacob.

He had to wrestle with God, and he finally came to a point where he understood what they had and he wanted it as his own.

I wish I could explain this more clearly but it just blows my mind!
It shows me that if there is hope for Jacob, if God can use Jacob this deceitful man, then there is hope for me and God can use me!

Joy

So since I have been back in Flagstaff my nights have consisted of long conversations and catching up with my roommates that I haven't seen in 6 months.

The other night my roommate Alida and I were talking and we stumbled upon the subject of joy.
We both have some big decisions that will be made in the near future, and depending on the outcome of these decisions it will be a pretty big step of faith with our relationship with God.

As we were talking about these issues and trying to calm each other down and not think of the worst we realized that God calls us to have joy.
Joy does not always mean happiness though.

We have to choose to be joyful even in hard situations. As the song says,

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

We have to praise God in the good and the hard times, we have to find the joy. The joy that we are alive, the joy that we get to spend eternity with him, the joy that we get to have a relationship with him, the joy that he has met all of our needs. There are so many things in this beautiful life to find joy in, even when the hard times come we need to choose to say "Lord Blessed be your name!"

My friend Elysha recently came back from Haiti, she had gone over to help with orphans who were victims of the earthquake. One of the things she had told me was that they people there were so full of joy. They are so happy to be alive and to have Jesus that is all that they needed. Even though they had lost their homes, their families and their friends, they were still so joyful because they were alive and they had the love of Jesus.

If the people of Haiti can find joy in times of hardship and suffering, we Americans can definitely find joy!

Home Sweet Home

Well I have been home for exactly one week.... okay in a few hours it will be exactly one week but you catch the drift.

I must say that I feel like I have been here much longer, and England seems so far in the past that its as if I never even went there.
I surprisingly miss it a lot already, I knew I would but I figured it would take a few weeks or months, I really loved it there though, I met so many amazing people and I just feel like they were all snatched away so quickly.
However, for now there is not much that I can do about that since I am back in the States and have no money to go back anytime soon.

I am moving up to Flagstaff on Saturday and I am so excited about it! As much as I missed my family and friends in Phoenix it will be good get back up to the mountains. It is hard for me to feel completely settled in and home in Phoenix when I know I have an apartment, roomies, summer school and hopefully a job awaiting in me in Flag. I also need to get out of this dang heat, I swear I do not remember Phoenix being so dang hot but I suppose that is because I was in the polar opposite of Phoenix all semester!

Being back has taken a weird toll on me emotionally, physically and spiritually. I honestly just think its Phoenix, but I just feel so dry, tired, insecure, and lost.
Hopefully once I am back in Flag and settled in I will start feeling back to my normal self, I think Phoenix and I are better friends from a distance....a two hour distance!

I know this blog seems so random and all over the place but that is pretty much how I feel right now. Maybe it's culture shock.

The Bittersweet

Well I never thought this day would come but alas it has. This is my last day in England and to be honest it is a very bittersweet feeling.

If someone were to have asked me on the first day that I arrived if I would feel sad about England my answer without hesitation would have been "NO!" But now that I have met some amazing people from around the world, I have had the amazing privilege to take part in a beautiful church sold out for Jesus, and have finally received the feeling of being settled in, I am actually quite sad to leave.

On the other hand, I am so very excited to go back to the States because there is so much to look forward too. I get to see my family and friends that I have missed dearly, and in a month I get to see my boyfriend and one of my very best friends!

However, there are some things I am not looking forward to school, being one of them, I won't go into detail on the others. I need Jesus to make my heart calm, and ready to go back to the States.
I feel I have changed a lot while being in England, and I feel that there are certain things that I will be going back to that my heart is not ready for. I do have faith and trust in my Savior to make my heart right, I know he has a plan and purpose for me and he has closed this adventure in England and is opening up a new one back in Arizona.

I am so very thankful for this opportunity that He has provided for me to come and study abroad. It is everything I expected and yet completely different at the same time!

Today I am off to Manchester, managing a bus and two trains with two large suitcases a backpack and a purse! I am staying the night at a hotel near the airport and tomorrow morning I will board a plane and fly off over the pond back to the States!

Although this adventure is closing, I hope that you will continue to read my blog and join me on my new adventure in Flagstaff, where I know God will be doing even more exciting things in my heart.

Jesus thank you so much for this amazing opportunity! I have loved it and am so grateful that you were willing to use me as a tool for your Kingdom. I ask that you prepare my heart as I go back to America, give me a loving attitude and mind and plenty of your love to share!

Time is Running Out

Well my time here in England is slowly coming to an end, and when things end they usually come with many final gatherings and goodbyes. This week I grabbed a cuppa with my friend Temi, we sat in this cute little cafe in Beverley and talked about my term here in England and all the beautiful things our Father has done and is doing in our lives.

While we were talking she said something to me that really stuck out. I had mentioned how I felt God had called me to come abroad and that coming to England was much more then a study abroad experience. I told her how I felt that God wanted me to do things for his kingdom but his plans were much different then mind. She said to me, that sometimes its not about coming to England and converting all of England sometimes its about having fun, God wants us to have fun, and learning how to serve God through our daily lives. She went on to say some other very sweet and beautiful things but this particularly stuck out to me because lately I had been doubting whether or not I lived up to the call that God had giving me to come here. (I know by this point any insecurity of mine does not come as a shock!)

I have been praying a lot lately, asking God to bring me confirmation that I served him and I lived for him and showed people his love and who he is, but I still let this insecurities creep in.
I had to remind myself that I did it God's way and not my way, so the results and the outcome was completely different, but I still kept doubting.

But, this morning the weather was beautiful and I decided to go for a run. As I was running one of my favorite Christian artists (Jimmy Needham) came on my ipod and these words stuck out to me.

We pass out paper facts all week but they won't come around, we can debate theology but they won't come around, apologetic reasoining but they won't come around come around, there's only one way they'll come and its love.

Now to be honest I heard the words and thought to myself, 'Man those are some really great lyrics' and didn't think much of it until later on. But when later on came I realized that God was showing me that I loved people. I fasted, had bible studies, made dinners, talked, laughed, traveled with people because of His love in me and my love for Him.

Not that everything I said or did this term was perfect but I realized that God taught me how to love the people around me through my actions and daily life, rather then bringing them a flyer and the answers to every question.

Thank you Jesus for your love! =)

Two Weeks

Well in exactly two weeks, I will be on a train to Manchester, where I will spend the night and then hop on a plane home to America the next day!
It is crazy how quickly everything is winding down, it seems like just last week I arrived here, and now I am leaving.

Today I turned in my first essay of the three I have due. Tomorrow my second essay is due, and next Monday (the 24th) my third and final essay is due.
I am done with the second essay and only have half of the third one to do. The problem is after doing nothing this whole semester I have become quite lazy and I cannot seem to find the motivation to write my essay. Hopefully I find it today at the library!
Today is a gorgeous day in Hull, for once, after the last week or so of cold and cloudy weather the sun has decided to come out and it has been quite nice. I even went on a run this morning outside for the first time in quite a while.

I am full of anxiety lately, I love being here, and I am sad to leave but since I know I am leaving in two weeks, I am really anxious for the time to go by. I have been finding ways to fill the time, last Friday we went down to Beverley and saw the antiques roadshow (by the way, I will be on the BBC come September =)) it was quite a lot of fun. Then on Saturday we went to Scaraborough which is this cute little beach town/fishing village. I absolutely loved, I think Kelsey and I might be going back with her roommate next week. On Sunday I sang on the worship team again, I love being the worship team so much, I am really going to miss it!!

Yesterday I had a really good talk with my housemate Ida. We were talking a lot about religion and sex before marriage, and she brought up a really valid point. She was telling me that she didn't think that sex before marriage was such a big deal compared to other things. She said that she thinks people should focus more on caring for each other and not so much on rules. It was so neat because I agreed with her, for the most part. I told her that the greatest commandment Jesus called us to was to love him and love our neighbors as ourselves. We talked a long time about hypocrisy in religion and Christianity, which is why she is so turned off to it. I was able to explain to her that we are called to be loving, and take care of each other and have community and she really liked that. Our conversation didn't go anywhere deeper then that but it was cool to share that much of the Bible and the Jesus I know with her. It ended with her saying that it was a shame that the media only displays the bad parts of religion and not the good parts because it seems that they are a lot of good things as well.
So I pray that God will grow that little seed planted in her heart! =)

Well, now that I have rambled about very random things, and procrastinated as much as I can I suppose it is time for me to leave and go "revise" as they say here!

Cheers!

Clubbin'

Almost every week since I have been here Ida (my housemate) has invited me to go out with her on Monday nights to this club called The Piper. Every week I am always busy and I have some excuse not to go, and I always feel bad because she wants me to go with her. Well last night she invited me and Kelsey, and we happened to have nothing to do so we went with her.

I was a little nervous about going because I didn't really know what to expect but it is really just a bunch of people hanging out, talking and dancing, well and of course drinking. It was fun to just hang out and chat with people and enjoy the music but what really caught my attention was all of the girls.

Almost every girl there last night was dressed in extremely short skirts/dresses and low cut tops...I definitely felt out of place, in a good way. As I was watching the girls around me trying to get the attention of all of the men in the room my heart started to break for them.

It made me sad and sick to think that these girls are dressed this way just so a guy will show them a little bit of attention. What I noticed about the guys is that they would give the girl some attention for a song or two but then they would get bored and go back to their friends or even a more modestly dressed girl.

I just wanted to tell all of these girls that they don't have to put their bodies on display to be loved and have attention. I use to think that girls who dressed like had a lot of self-confidence and had very little if any insecurities but last night I realized the exact opposite. These girls are really insecure, they need to be told that they are worth it and loved and cared about.

I know this isn't what you would expect to read from a blog called Clubbin' but this has been weighing on my heart.

God I lift up all of these girls to you, these girls who think that the way they dress determines their love and self worth. Lord show them that these women are beautiful, that you have made them, beautiful in your image. Jesus I pray that you lift these girls up and that they can see and feel your love, the only love that matters surrounding them

Greece

Well, after much traveling and very little sleep I am back in England from my amazing trip to Greece.

Greece is so beautiful, even Athens the dirty overcrowded city that it is, is surrounded by the beauty of old ruins from years ago. We spent most of our time in Athens except for Sunday when we took a day trip to one of the islands. The weather was sunny and warm and the water was cool, but warm enough to swim in!

I felt so spoiled to be sitting on this beautiful island soaking in the sun and staring out into the crystal blue waters of the sea. God really speaks to me when I am near the ocean/sea.
He loves to show me his love through the size of water. As I was laying on the beach I just felt so loved by my Father.

I don't have much else to say about Greece besides the fact that I had a lot of fun and it was really beautiful.

I am back in Hull now until it is time for me to pack up and go back to America. Things are starting to really wrap up here, I have two more classes to attend and two essays to write and I am done with school.
Bernice's dad is coming next week and they will be leaving to do some traveling around Europe before she goes home.
Kelsey's roommate and cousins are coming in two weeks to do some traveling as well, so everyone is wrapping up school life and our lives here in England and preparing for our journey back to the states.

It is so crazy that I am leaving in 4 weeks, it seems not that long ago that I boarded the plane in Phoenix and headed across the pond to England.

I am so grateful for this opportunity and all the amazing things that God has taught me, I can't wait to use this experience to continue to grow in Him and add it as a part of my testimony for the incredible things He has done in my life.

Jesus continues to provide, I found out yesterday that I was awarded a $1000 grant for summer school.

I feel so loved and blessed by my Savior, I am so so undeserving and yet he still continues to shower me with His love and blessings, thank you Jesus!

"Living he loved me,
Dying he saved me,
Buried he carried,
my sins far away,
Rising he justified,
Freely forever,
One day He is coming,
Oh glorious day!"

Not Enough Time

Before I came abroad, I talked to quite a few people about their study abroad experience or about people they knew who had studied abroad, they all had different and encouraging stories that made me really excited to come abroad. However there was one statement that was the same with every person I talked to, "one semester is not enough time" at the time and up until very recently I did not understand how one semester was not enough time, and could not even fathom staying here for a year.

As I was told that same statement over and over again, I continued to brush it off. "Yea yea, maybe for you it was not enough time but I am sure for me it will be more than enough" that was usually the thought running through my head.

Well these past few weeks, as I have been overflowing with the amazing peace of Jesus and enjoying the beautiful spring weather that has finally arrived, I have realized they were right.

Now before you read further, not to worry I am not extending my stay, just an observation and perhaps some advice to anyone pondering the the idea of studying abroad.

When I first arrived in England I was really excited to be here, but hit hard with homesickness and the desire to come home. As I started to adapt I would go back and forth with loving my time here, and yearning to go home. Ever since my trip to Ireland and Scotland I have been so at peace with being here, and I believe there are two reasons for this.

One is that Jesus is my ultimate provider and I asked him to fill me with peace and cast away my worries so that I could enjoy my time here...which he did!
The other is that I have finally adjusted. Whenever you move somewhere you don't typically adjust immediately it usually takes a while to get the feel of the culture, the area, the people, and to make friends, and being in a different country it takes even longer since there are new factors that come into play.
After being here for three months I have finally adapted to the culture, made some great friends, and have been comfortable with being here and calling this my "home" at least for now.

I think that is why everyone told me a semester was not enough time, sure its enough time to see the country to do some traveling but since you are only here for 4 months its hard to completely adjust and adapt. I have had this feeling in me all semester that "this is so temporary" which made it hard for me to adapt and to relax and be comfortable with being here.

So finally after this internal battle, I have finally loved being here, and wished I had more time here. A semester really is not enough time because once you get all settled in and adjusted, it is time to pick everything back up and leave. Don't get me wrong I am SO thankful for this experience and I am truly excited about coming home, but it just isn't enough time.

With that said, I have been trying to fill my time with lots of fun things to do:
-Last week we went bowling and had a BBQ (where we made Smores because the boys had never had a Smore before!)
- This week we are having a baking day, possibly a girls night and anything else fun we can think of to do.
-We leave for Greece in one week
-I have 3 essays due in a month and I am a little over half way done with the first one! (I have never done homework this far in advance!)

I have about 40 days until I come home, and I am going to make the most of them! =)

Relationships

Being abroad I have learned a lot of things, one thing I have learned about is relationships. I have realized life is all about relationships. From the moment we are born we are brought into a relationship with our parents and family. As we grow up we make relationships with friends and people along the way, and we make the choice to have a relationship with our Savior. As we grow and mature our relationships do too, sometimes we grow closer, sometimes we grow farther away, and then there is always the deeper relationships like girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife.


When I left home for England, I left all those relationships behind (I am of course still in relationship with everyone back home but it's different because I am far away and I can't see them everyday.) When I boarded that plane it was me and Jesus from then on, until I met new people that he was going to place in my life. Since I have been here, if you have been reading my blog at all you will remember that I had been struggling for the majority of the semester with feelings of loneliness and being homesick. Now at the time I thought that it was me being too attached to everything at home and I could not understand why this being away thing was easier for others but it was so difficult for me.

When I was on the train home over spring break, God gave me this revelation. You were for made relationship. Did you catch that? We are made for relationship. God did not intend for us to be alone. When he made Adam he said that man was good but he needed a companion so he made Eve. We were not meant to be alone all the time, he made us for relationship. I mean that is one of the things that makes Christianity so unique because we are asked to be in a relationship with Christ.
I realize that this probably sounds really obvious and many of you are thinking "Duh, you're just now realizing this?" But to tell you the truth I had never really thought about it before, because I have never had to live completely on my own where I didn't know anyone. I had never felt or experienced that kind of loneliness until I came here.

To be honest, I am glad I got to have that moment of loneliness because it brought me closer to my Savior. I was shown a new side of him and I realized that not only does he want a relationship with me but that he wants me to be in relationship with others.

After all isn't that why he calls us to live in community and he created the church into one body?

Thank you Jesus that you made us for relationship and not only do you wants us to seek you in a relationship but you want us to seek out relationships with others, Lord you are good!

He Ain't the Leaving Kind

I found this song very fitting for my previous blog!
It is by Rascal Flatts, even if you don't like country it's worth listening to because of the beautiful message.

They tried their best to drag him out
Of a courthouse down in montgomery
Now they want to kick him out of school
And take him off our money
They can take those words off of paper and stone
But he aint gone, no

He ain't the leavin' kind
He'd never walk away
Even from those who dont believe
And wanna leave him behind
He ain't the leavin' kind

She stayed mad at him for a lot of years
For taking her husband
Started losing her faith and thinking that
Her life meant nothin
But when she looks at those kids
She raised all by herself
She knows she had some help
Yeah she knows

He ain't the leavin' kind
He'd never walk away
Even from those who don't believe
And wanna leave him behind
He ain't the leavin' kind

No matter what you do
No matter where you go he's
Always right there
With you

Even from those who don't believe
And wanna leave him behind
He ain't the leavin' kind

Scotland and Heart Surgery

On Wednesday morning we left for Scotland, it was about a 45 minute flight which is the shortest flight I have ever been on! When we arrived in Scotland we got on the nicest bus I have ever seen complete with free WiFi and headed to our hostel. Our hostel was really cute and full of college kids which was really nice. We ended up wandering around the city of Edinburgh (pronounced Edinburrow) and hiked up "Arthur's Seat" Which is a beautiful little mountain full of beautiful scenery at the top!
The next day we went on a couple of free tours of the city and saw some pretty neat sites as well as hearing some crazy stories about the history of the city. I love old European cities because they are full of these awesome crazy stories from hundreds of years ago and yet the city and its buildings are still there today!
On our tour we saw the cafe where J.K. Rowling started writing the Harry Potter series as well as some of the places that gave her inspiration for the characters names, we saw more then our fair share of men in kilts and bagpipers, the castle, and the only place in Edinburgh where it is legal to spit. (Pictures will be posted)
It was a lot of fun but all I could think of most of the day was the next day when my dad would have his heart surgery. Friday at 7:30 am (3:30pm my time) my dad went in for surgery. Thankfully we spent all day at the castle that day and Kelsey helped keep my mind occupied. I finally got a phone call around 7:30pm from my mom telling me that they had about an hour left of surgery and my dad was doing great. They were able to get the valves in and his heart beating on its own and they just needed to close him up. Praise God! Not only did the surgery go well but it ended up being an hour or so shorter then expected! Later that night my mom called me to let me know that they had finished the surgery and everything went well and my dad was recovering in the ICU. I unfortunately couldn't talk to him though because he was still knocked out from the anesthetics.
Thank God, for his healing power and his means of providing. I went to bed that night so at peace and so thankful that the surgery went so smoothly. The next day we hit up quite a few museums and a cathedral for the day! The weather ended up being absolutely beautiful all day so we decided to hike up Arthur's Seat again and just sit up there, enjoy the beautiful weather/scenery. Something about sitting in God's creating totally gives me an overflowing amount of peace and I love it.
Later that night I got a phone call from my dad! It was so great to hear his voice, he sounded a little too happy (too much Morphine) nonetheless it was great to talk to him! He said besides the pain which apparently feels like "a bus is parked on his chest" he was feeling great. The doctors said he had set a record and had walked more on his first day after surgery then any of their patients have before. He was still recovering in the ICU because they were waiting for his blood pressure to go down, but he was feeling good, and recovering quickly which I think gave all of us a sense of peace.
On Sunday after a long day of shopping and walking around we said goodbye to Scotland and headed on home back to Hull. This last week was a really great way for me to ease back into school. It was really laid back and just gave me so much peace about being here for another month and a half and I was even feeling excited about doing my essays...who would have thought I would miss school? Not me!
I am really excited to see what God has in store for my time left here, because it is really not that much time at all, but I know it will be good and I know he will use me if I let him! =)

I talked to my parents briefly today, apparently my dad may go home tomorrow! This is great news because he was suppose to be in the hospital for about a week after the surgery. God has been providing my family in such incredibly huge ways, it amazes me. He provided for them through tough financial situations, and the search for a new house during a hectic time of year, and now he has proven his faithfulness once again through his wonderful healing power.
My dad made it through heart surgery, the surgery went quicker then expected, he has been recovering well, and very smoothly, and now he is going to be released sooner then expected and is moving further on the road to recovery.
I am so amazed at how God provides in these crazy ways and that he loves us enough to continue to provide for us!
Thank you to everyone who prayed/fasted for my dad, I know I appreciate it and I am sure he and my family appreciate it too!

Jesus thank you so much that you love my family enough to continue to provide for them all the time! That you are constantly doing crazy, big, awesome things in their lives and proving your faithfulness, love, and providence! Jesus you are so good and so full of love that we don't deserve! Thank you for your goodness, you are good all the time!

Northern Ireland

Well I am sitting in our hostel in Belfast, Northern Ireland while Kelsey and Bernice are still sleeping. The hostel is actually pretty nice, we are suppose to have a fourth a roommate but we don't which has been really nice, and I can get free wi-fi from the building next door which is always a joy!

When we first got to Belfast we were at a loss of what to do, we came on Easter weekend and here in the UK they take off Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday for Easter.
Our first day we went down to the pump house where the Titanic was put together and went on a "living tour" where actors took on the roles of characters during the time period of the Titanic and walked us through the designing, building, and take off of the Titanic. It was pretty neat but a little awkward since it was only us three on the tour. We later found out that there is not much to do in Belfast and became a little discouraged that we had come this way to do, well nothing.
We found out that there was a tour that took us to Carrickfergus Castle and Giant's Causeway. The castle was cool, we only stopped there for 15 minutes but it was neat to see a castle right on the Irish sea. After the castle we drove through the beautiful Irish countryside (the kind you picture when you think of Ireland) where we saw hills and hills of green and tons of sheep! After being in the bus for about 45 minutes we finally came to Giant's Causeway, which was absolutely breathtaking.

It is a bunch of beautiful rock formations right along the sea, we were there for two hours and walked around just being blown away but its beauty.
Sitting there staring out into the ocean gave me so much peace about being here.
I was looking out into the sea and realizing how much God loves me! The sea is so deep and so wide, and yet God loves me more then that. He is so much bigger then that, and that blows my mind every time. I completely felt God's spirit upon me yesterday and just bring me the peace I need to carry on for the next two months.
I know that God still has a purpose for me here and he still wants to use me and I am really excited to see what else he has in store. He has taught me, and strengthened me so much since I have been here, and I know he has more to do before I head back home to the States.

Today is our last day in Belfast and we leave early tomorrow morning for Scotland. I feel so blessed to have this opportunity to be here, to travel, to meet new people, and share God's word with them and I want to take full advantage of it before it is all over.

A picture is worth a thousand words

Grandma <3

Tower Bridge

The Tower of London

Le Louvre

The second floor of the Eiffel Tower

La Tour Eiffel ave ma mere

Le Arc de Triomphe

In front of the Palace

Changing of the Guards

The guards in their winter coats

Delicious noodles (gluten free!)

Narwhal's do Exist

The London Eye

Big Ben

We had so much fun together


More pictures are on facebook!

A Humbling Spring Break

*Warning this blog may be very long!*

Well, well, well, where to begin. A lot has happened and I have a lot I want to say and express but I am not quite sure where to begin. I have been meaning to write this blog for a while, though of starting it various different times and different ways, but I never had the proper amount of time.
But, alas here I am alone in Hull feeling really homesick and ready to get out everything I need to say so here it goes...I'll start from the beginning.

So last Saturday Barry and I waited together at the airport for my mom and grandma, delaying goodbye as long as possible. I really hate saying goodbye more than anything, the mere thought of it gets me teary eyed. Anyway, my mom and grandma were the last people to come through the gate due to delayed luggage, so I said hello to them and goodbye to Barry and didn't have much time to be sad about it. As I was walking with my mom and grandma to the train station my mom told me that she would be leaving about 4 days earlier then expected...completely changing our spring break plans once again.

Now before I go on, I want to stop here. At this moment, and various moments throughout our trip God humbled me. Since before I even came to England I had been talking to people about my spring break. I had been so excited that my mom and grandma were coming and all the places we were going to travel together, it was going to be incredible. I realized two things through this; one: It says in the Bible not to boast about tomorrow because you don't know what will happen. Well that is the humbling part of the lesson. I never really thought that I was bragging about my spring break, but it is quite possible that I was. God just showed me, hey before you get too carried away remember who is charge here. The second part: That there are things more important in life then travels and the places you get to see in life. This overlaps with the being humbled part because I felt so selfish for being sad that our plans had changed. My dad thank God, is going to have heart surgery so he doesn't get even more sick, and die and I am upset about a change of plans...how selfish. I quickly realized how selfish that was and immediately felt so humbled. Sure it is cool to say you've been to London, Paris, Greece, Morocco wherever but ultimately that doesn't matter.
On judgment day when I sit before my Father he isn't going to say, "Well done good and faithful traveler, you saw the world!" He is going to say (hopefully), "Well done good and faithful servant!" With that in mind I embraced the rest of the week as an opportunity to serve him as best as I could.

Okay so on with the story. From the airport we took two trains to get to London and then three trains from there just to get to our hotel, lugging around a backpack, a duffel bag, three purses, and three suitcases. By the time we got to our hotel we were exhausted, especially since none of us had slept in about a day.

Once we were settled in the hotel we were able to plan out the rest of the break, we had decided to just spend the week in London and take a day trip to Paris. We ended up finding a tour that would take us there and tour us around the city and see all the main sites for a fairly cheap price. We booked it and I was already feeling better, and just grateful to be with my mom and grandma since they almost didn't come at all.

Since we spent the majority of the week in London we were able to see all the sits that we wanted to see at a more leisurely and enjoyable pace because we were not packing everything into two or three days. I had so much fun with my mom and grandma and was just grateful to see them, hug them, and talk to them.
Our day trip to Paris was a lot of fun, we definitely did not have enough time to do everything and we all wish we could have spent a couple of days there but we still saw a lot and more then we had ever seen before.

Yesterday I had to say goodbye, which was a lot harder then I was expecting it to be. I of course cried and was so tempted to just get on the plane and go with them home but I am just too stubborn to do that. My mom and grandma boarded the plane at 9:45 and my train didn't leave to go back to Hull until 11:05. I sat in a cafe and ate breakfast trying to occupy my mind but it wasn't quite working. I started to leave and go to the train station and my duffel bag ripped, thankfully the top ripped so my stuff didn't fall out and I could still carry it.
I started reading my book while waiting for the train and the time went by pretty quickly, I had to change trains twice, which I didn't mind because it makes the time go faster.
I was pretty occupied with my book, my music and my journal. On the second train I decided to get out my card that my grandma had given me before she left. I read it and the tears started all over again. Grandma's know how to say things just the right way to make you cry, it was sweet though, but I hate crying in public so I quickly and quietly stopped crying before anyone could notice.

When I was on the bus back to my house I was feeling really sad thinking that I would be all alone and would spend too much time thinking and being homesick...thankfully God knows me so well and provided for me.
When I got home both of my roommates were there, and we talked for a while. Ida and I ended up making a late lunch/early dinner together and then later on Amandine and I had tea together and Ida came down and joined us in conversation. It was a great way for me to adjust to coming back home.

This morning however, was a different story. Though both of my roommates are here, they are shut up in their rooms. I have had my door open since I woke up hoping they would stop by to talk for a little but that hasn't worked too well. I had a quiet time with my Abba that was much needed. I have to remind myself I am not alone and that he has called me here, but a lack of physical presence is really hard especially since I haven't been alone for two weeks.
This morning as really been hard for me, I am at the half way point. I have been here for two months and I only have two months left. Part of me is like, okay I have lived here a while, I have traveled it's time to go home, and the other part of me. The part that knows I am done here is constantly reminding myself that God is not done with me yet, I still have some purpose here, even though I am not quite sure what it is, I am not done yet.
Deep down I know that is true, but it hard for me to see when I spend so much time alone, my thoughts get carried away and I turn into a worrying mess.
I again talked to Lulu this morning and she just encouraged me by telling me to remind myself why I am here, and to not focus on being homesick because it will just get overwhelming and I will get carried away. She is completely right. Plus God has provided for me in ways that still amaze me so I know he will continue to do so for this next half.

Thank God for caring about me enough to call me here, and to provide and take care of me on this journey!

Also if you could continue to join me in prayer for my Father that would be wonderful!

Catch Up

Well its been a while since I have updated everyone so lets catch up.
Sunday was Mother's Day and also the day that Barry came into town! I went to church all alone because Bernice and Kate were out of town for the weekend, but I had a lot of fun. Our pastor gave a sermon about the Proverbs 31 woman in honor of Mother's Day, which was amazing and at the end of the service all the little kids ran out and gave a bouquet of tulips to all the women! It was so sweet and precious, but honestly all I could think about was how excited I was that Barry was coming in less then an hour.
I walked around downtown just filling my time waiting for 1:50pm to roll around, I bought some Mother's Day cards since I figured they would be hard to find come May, and finally after an hour or so of distracting myself I walked over to the train station to find Barry standing there waiting for me!
I must admit it was a very surreal feeling, I couldn't quite grasp the fact that he was standing there in England, it felt like a scene from a movie or a dream and any minute I would wake up to realized it was all just a dream. Thankfully, it was not a dream!
Sunday I made us lunch and then let Barry take a nap for a while, he was pretty exhausted from all the traveling. We took it pretty easy Sunday night and went out for dinner and then watched a movie.
On Monday we went downtown and I showed him all the historic sights and we went to the maritime museum where there was proof that Narwhals exist! (Pictures will be posted!) Then we went to my 4:15 class where we talked about the movie Pulp Fiction, so it really wasn't too boring, and Barry said it was actually fun. We went to Kate and Bernice's house afterward so that we could get all of our Greece stuff booked which is nice to have that all taken care of!
Tuesday was another relaxed day, I had two classes that Barry came to with me. In between the classes we went down to all the little shops and I just showed him around the University area it happened to be a very beautiful day so it was nice to get out and walk.
Tuesday night we went to the pub quiz on campus which was really fun even though our team did really horrible.
Wednesday we went to York, and it was great since I had already been there, I could give a tour of the city first hand and just enjoy the city. We got to York around 1:45pm and had lunch, walked around and I showed him the Minster, Abbey, the Shambles and the other historic parts of the city that I saw on my first visit. After a lot of walking we decided to head home around 6:00pm. We arrived back in Hull around 7:45 which gave us enough time to get a little dressed up and go on a date. We ate at this really yummy restaurant called Ruby's. I have eaten there before and I was so excited to eat there again, it is a very relaxed atmosphere with delicious food. Afterwords we made my delicious gluten-free brownies with ice cream and watched a movie!
Yesterday was the best day by far, we went to London which was incredible! We arrived in London around 12:30pm and wandered around until we found a restaurant called Wagamama's.
Patty had recommended this restaurant to me and it was absolutely delicious Japanese food. After we headed over to Buckingham Palace, along the way we stumbled upon Trafalgar Square which was such an incredible thing to see. It's this square with a huge fountain and statues and everyone is just sitting outside talking, eating and enjoying the beautiful weather. We walked through St. James Park to the Palace which was a beautiful park, plenty of green grass and flowers to surround you. The park was filled with people walking, running, sitting, hanging out soaking in it all in. It was so beautiful, we sat in this little patch of flowers and ate ice cream and just enjoyed the nature in the middle of this big city. As we arrived at the Palace, I got a phone call from my mom. I knew something was wrong immediately because she was in tears when I answered the phone. My dad has been really sick for a while and Wednesday he went to the hospital. This was a good thing because they were finally able to figure out what was wrong with him, it turns out he has an infection in one of his valves in his heart. My dad will need heart surgery, everything should be okay but the details at the time were very vague which was stressing my mom out. She told me that my dad would need surgery and that she might not be able to come for spring break anymore.
After we hung up, I looked at Barry and we went and sat on the steps in front of the palace and prayed for my dad. At that time we gave the entire situation up to the Father and knew that he would provide and everything would work out according to his plan.
I tried really hard the rest of the day not to worry about my dad and to remind myself that God was taking care of him, thankfully Barry was there to remind me of that a lot, because my thoughts tend to take a hold of me and cause all sorts of unnecessary worry and emotion.
After the palace we walked back through the park and went over to the West Minister. The church itself was closed but it was beautiful to look at from the outside, we walked around the area for a while took pictures of Big Ben and then decided to head over the the London Eye. The London Eye was really neat, it is a 30 minute Ferris wheel and you can see all of London from it. It was truly breathtaking and a nice way to relax after a day of walking.
After the eye we ate at this delicious restaurant called Giraffe, the food was really good, fairly cheap, and the environment was really fun and trendy.
After our meal we decided to head on back home, when we got home I received a phone call from my mom.
They are going to do the surgery on my dad but they are going to wait a few weeks, so after my mom gets back from England. My mom and grandma are still coming and they seem really calm about the surgery, it is important but it doesn't sound life or death. I really see God's hand in this situation and think that he will be healing my dad before my my mom even returns.

Barry and I are hanging out the rest of the day and then we leave tonight for Manchester. I am sad to say goodbye but excited to see my mom and grandma!
Prayers for my dad and family are much appreciated thank you!

I've Got the Joy ...Where?

I have got the joy of the Lord and the peace that passes understanding in my heart!

It may sound cheesy but I have been filled with so much joy and peace these past week that I can't contain it, which is ironic because I thought that this week was going to be horrible.
Bernice's boyfriend came in to town on Tuesday and Kelsey found out Monday night that her parents were coming in Tuesday as well. This being said I thought that I was going to be all alone the whole week since the core people I hang out with were going to be traveling and hanging out with their loved ones... God had other plans!
Tuesday, Bernice and I still had our Bible and Study and it was absolutely amazing. We read the passage in Mark where Jesus casts out the Legion of demons in a man (Side Note: a legion can be up to 3,000-6,000 people or in this case demons...CRAZY!!) and where he heals the bleeding woman.
It was great to read about the power of Jesus and how he provides and heals but the best part of our bible study was the discussion afterwords. Bernice and I ended up talking about absolute truth, and how we know what he believe is the truth and that God is real.
It was so wonderful to just be completely on the same page, and to have confidence that OUR God reigns and is the true and living God!

This all sounds so vague, and crazy but I can't explain it, I was completely filled with the joy of the Lord, and I still am!

This week since Kelsey and Bernice have been doing things with their loved ones, I have been able to spend a lot of time with my roommates, which has been really nice. I was feeling a little guilty about never hanging out with my roommates and not really getting to know them and this week I have been able to talk to both of them separately for a few hours. Ida and have sat outside and soaked in the sun while eating lunch and just talking to each other, and sharing things about our cultures and lives. The other night Amandine and I made dinner together and talked for quite a long time, and it was so much fun!
It is so great to be able to hang out with my roommates and talk to them, especially since we are all from different places, we get to share new things with each other.
I am so thankful that God provided this opportunity and that I have really made a connection with my roommates because it is so important to have a welcoming, and fun living situation, and I had been feeling really out of the loop the last few weeks.

I feel that my blogs are so repetitive but he continues to show me daily that HE is GOOD and HE PROVIDES!

Today I am finishing up my homework and having a reading and relaxing day.
Tomorrow Kate and I are going to Sheffield for the day and then having a girls night.
Sunday I am going to church and then meeting Barry at the train station. =)

This week I have absolutely loved being here, and have actually been a little sad when I realized that I am returning home fairly soon!

No matter what, God is good and he has great plans for me no matter where I am !

Peace

"Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
I will be still and know You are God"

We sang this song in church yesterday and it really spoke to me. I spend way to much of my time worrying and freaking out and I just need to find rest in Christ. He is the all powerful all mighty God, who am I to question his authority?
I need to put my trust in him, in him alone and continue to seek him in everything I do. He has great things planned for me and if I spend all my time worrying about everything else, I am going to miss out on the incredible plans and opportunities he has provided me with. With this thought I have been able to remain calm all weekend, I haven't freaked out about anything and I have just been able to enjoy myself and have a great time.

On Saturday Bernice and I went to a women's breakfast at Vineyard church. It was so great, really healthy delicious food, and we got to meet a lot of great Christian women. Afterwords Kelsey, Bernice and I went to the city center and went shopping. I have never done so much shopping in my life, I suppose that is a big part of experiencing the culture. The great thing about shopping is that you get a taste of style and culture and not buy anything. I did however buy one shirt it was really cute and only 3 pounds so I thought that was a great deal. After we went shopping we grabbed some dinner at a pub and then went back to Bernice's house to make rice krispie's and watch Friends. I really enjoy hanging out with those girls they are a lot of fun and are really comfortable with doing anything which is nice, because sometimes its fun to just chill out and not do anything.
Sunday Bernice and I went to church, the sermon was really great, and I just felt filled with God's peace in my life. I am really sad that I can't get more involved with this church. They have some cool events coming up but they are over spring break and I will be out of town.
After church we went to the library to do some homework. I thankfully got everything I needed to get done this weekend and even started my essay that is due on the 17th. After starting the essay I feel so much peace about it, it is really easy and not at all as hard as I thought it would be and I started a week and a half in advance which is a new thing for me.
We started planning our last week of spring break, we are going to Ireland and Scotland which will be a lot of fun. I can't believe that spring break is coming so quickly. It some senses I feel like I just got here and in others I feel as if I have been here for 3 months.

I am so thankful that God has brought me on this journey, I am even more thankful that I am starting to find peace and just enjoy it for what it's worth. I can see God teaching me and using me in so many ways, but I feel there is so much more to it then what I can see. I think that once I leave here and I have time to take in everything that has happened this semester I will truly realize all the things that God has done in my life.

Praise God for Peace!

Frustration, Stressation, Relaxation

I realize stressation is not a word but it flows so I went with it.
Anyway this week has been extremely crazy I can't even believe that tomorrow is Friday already.
Since I came home from Germany the internet here has been on the fritz...apparently over the weekend they switched internet servers and it is not cooperating very well with everyone's laptops.
I have been so frustrated all week not being able to have a reliable source of communication for everyone back home. Especially since my mom and I were trying to plan our spring break trip and it was extremely difficult since my internet was not working. For spring break we have decided to go to London and Paris, we cut out Italy due to expenses and its a lot of traveling to do in ten days for my grandma, plus we get to really enjoy and experience the cities!
The stressful part of the week? I have decided that I have a serious issue. This is probably the easiest semester I will ever have in college and yet I have been stressing and freaking out all week. Not only freaking out about school but every little thing I could think of, spring break, people, trips, readings, homework, pretty much anything you could think of it was on my mind and it was driving me crazy. I have also been thinking about going to India this summer on a missions trip but have been having second thoughts and wondering how I would afford to go and how it would all work.
After talking to Lulu this morning she really helped me calm down and she just said to me, "You are in England right now and you need to focus on that and just enjoy it and have fun. America and India will be there when you go back in June." She was completely right, I can't worry about the things that will happen when I go back home right now, if I do I will totally miss my opportunity here to have fun and really experience what God has in store for me.
After that conversation I went to get my internet fixed and actually got quite a bit accomplished on my to-do list. Kelsey, Bernice and I met up to go get some produce and then study at the cafe down the street.
As we were studying at the cafe, I again just started to freak out, and all my thoughts came rushing back. I tried to keep it in as much as possible but as Bernice and I were walking back to my house I just broke down.
I started crying and just told her how I was feeling and how frustrated I was for feeling so upset and stressed over things that don't matter. We talked for a while and she told me that she completely understood how I was feeling because she often feels the same way. I asked her to pray for me and after we prayed I felt so much better. My heart literally felt lighter and I felt a wave of peace come over me.
After praying Kelsey, Bernice, Kate and I had dinner together and then we went to an Islam lecture since it is Islam Awareness week (Bernice is taking an Islam class and has been going to these lectures all week to help her better understand the religion.) The talk was on why the women wear their veils and modesty and such it was interesting but Kelsey, Kate and I left early to go to Alpha.
Alpha was so good our discussion was on the Bible. Why we read the Bible, what we get out of the Bible, how we view the Bible etc etc. It seriously gave me an even greater amount of peace. Just talking about the living word of God and how God speaks to us through it, how it is a beautiful love letter to his daughter. How it is God true and perfect word and what I read can relate to my life and and use and trust. I am so thankful to have Christians here in my life that can bring me peace just by talking about God's word.
This is the relaxation part...giving it all to God and trusting in him and him alone.
Thank you Jesus for your everlasting peace!

Traveling Downs...and Ups

I have no clue what it is about traveling that turns me into an emotional wreck but it somehow does.
I had an amazing time in Germany. I got to spend time with one of my dear friends Lulu who I only get to see once a year if I am lucky. We had a slumber party which was fun, I ate German food, I got to see the beautiful countryside and experience a new culture, and overall it was very relaxed and a really great time.
However, the plane/train ride just made me so emotional. I wasn't crying or anything (though I deeply wanted to) I just had this heavy overwhelming feeling of emotions.

My heart literally was hurting and it felt so heavy in my chest. Full of sadness. Sadness because I missed people and I was ready to go home. At the same time it felt light, I was so happy to be having this amazing experience and to discover God on deeper and new levels. How one's heart can feel both of this extreme emotions is beyond me but it does.
I honestly thought that once it hit the first month mark everything would be easy and I would get the "I never want to go home" feeling but it was just the opposite.

Last night I talked to Barry on the phone and he was able to really encourage me and help me see through my emotions and this morning I spent time with my Father and he allowed me to see everything clearly.

This morning as I poured my heart out to God and asked him to take all these emotions and burdens and fill me with his joy and peace my sadness was washed away. I immediately started to feel better, and of course I walked outside to go to class to find sunshine and warm weather.
I wore flip flops today if that shows how beautiful the weather was today!

Again, the theme of this semester is that GOD PROVIDES.
He really does, for the small things and the big things HE PROVIDES. That is what he does, as our Father, Protector, Provider, Creator our everything...he provides!

God thank you that you love me enough to provide and take care of me! From the smallest and silliest things to the biggest and scariest of things! Thank you daddy for loving me and wrapping me in your arms when things get hard and I want to give up, thank you for loving me!

Germany Germany Germany

Things I forgot to mention in my first blog, and things that have happened since.
Well on the train ride/airplane ride to Germany I finished the book Follow me to Freedom.
I must say it was a great book and Shane Claiborne never fails to open my eyes to something new.
I also listend to a KC boiler room sermon on Prayer which was incredible.
God has really been changing my heart and opening my eyes to new ideas and concepts this last few days and it has been really incredible.
I feel so free, and like all the burdens in my life have been lifted and casted aside!

All in all God is good and, "My hope is built on nothing less, than Jesus' blood and righteousness on Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand!"

Yesterday we had a real German breakfast which consisted of these delicious rolls (supposedlz some of them were wheat free) and whatever kind of spreads you wanted on the rolls. Peanutbutter, Nutella, Jelly, cheese, meat, creamcheese etc etc. It was a very delicious breakfast and the rolls were very tasty whether they were wheat free or not, I am not completely sure! After breakfast we went to a photography exhibition which was pretty neat. It was a little smaller than we had expected but it was still cool to see photography and really old nice cameras.
After the exhibition we went and tried to look for a castle, but the road was blocked off because of the bad weather so we couldn't go to it! However we went to Herborn which is this cute "very German" town which was a lot of fun.
There we had spaghetti icecream, which is icecream but they make it look like spaghetti, it is really neat!!
After our day out we came back to Lulu's house and hung out for a while, and later we went to dinner at this really cute place caled Cafe Del Sol, it was delicious! After dinner we came back and watched definitely maybe and then we went to bed! It is so nice to sleep in a comfortable bed, I almost forgot what it felt like!!

Today we went to Cologne which is a pretty big/touristy city! We saw a beautiful Catholic church that was built in the 1500's but was not completely finished until the 1800's. It was huge and really gorgeous, and is supposedly where the bodies of the three wise men lay!
After the church we walked around the city and saw all the shops and the big waterfront and then we went and had lunch at this Turkish/German place. I have no clue what I ate but it was delicious. After our lunch we went to this AMAZING cupcake place called Royal Cupcakes!
It is this little shop and they make the most beautiful cupcakes I have ever seen and each one is named after a famous or royal person. I had the King of Pop cupcake and it was delightful! It was definitely worth eating wheat for, especially since I will never be able to eat them again!

After Cologne we came back to Lulu's house and she made us dinner which was really good. We had these potatoes that are similar to tater tots, and you put this meat/cheese stuff over them or you can put apple sauce over them. I know it sounds really weird, but it was surprisingly very good. I have learned while travelling you definitely have to be open to different types of food.
After our dinner we watched a movie that we picked at random called the accidental husband, it was actually pretty cute! We also watched some friends episodes, I can proudly say I have finished the first season and am working on the second. It is pretty sad that Lulu has every single season of friends and I had never seen an episode until I traveled abroad!

Tomorrow we are going to another town near by to see more shops and go to a delicious cake shop. Another place that may be worth eating wheat for... it is definitely hard to be allergic to wheat in European countries since everything is either bread or pasta. However, the wheat doesn't bother as much here as it does in America...I don't know if I am growing out of the allergy or if the wheat is less processed or whatever but it is nice that I am able to make exceptions if something looks worth it!

Arriving in Germany

Well I awoke this morning at 5:00am to prepare for my trip to Germany. Kelsey and I met outside at 6:30 to catch our bus to the train station. We both rode the train for the first time in our lives today and took the train to the airport where we got on the tiniest plane I have ever seen.
It was so nice to see Lulu she picked us up at the airport at about 3:00pm which is 7:00am American time. We drove for about an hour to get to her house and it is the cutest house ever. Her parents are really sweet and her mom made me a wheat free cake for our arrival..which was beautiful and delicious.
Lulu, Kelsey and I just hung around and talked for a while, it was great to catch up with Lulu and discover what is going on in each others lives.
At around 8:00pm we went and a "real" German experience. Lulu's family took us out to a German restaurant where we had haxe which is a cliche German meal, and I had my first beer.
I only drank half of it and it was mixed with sprite so it wasn't too bad and it didn't make me feel weird or anything which was nice.
Tomorrow we might be going to a castle and a photo exhibition, as well as having a real German breakfast!!
I am so excited to be here and Lulu is so sweet and has the whole weekend planned!
I will try to keep updating while I am here but I can't make any promises!

I am so sleepy since I didn't get any sleep on the plane or the train so I apologize for the short update!

York

Yesterday Kelsey, Bernice, Elizabeth, Kathleen, a bunch of other people and I went to York for the day.
It was quite a sight to see, York is really old and has a lot of history. When we got there we went on a two hour walking tour which was very educational and fun. We looked at walls that were built during the 1200's, minsters, abbeys, and other buildings that have been around since the Roman empire. It was neat to see how parts of the city are still have trenches where war men hid during battles.
After the tour we went to the stardome to learn about how the Vikings navigated their way through the see using the stars. It was interesting but we mostly learned about the constellations which I still enjoyed because I love stars.
After the stardome our group broke away for lunch, everyone wanted to go to this 1 pound sandwhich shop and well I can't eat sandwhiches so we went to this cute cafe.
It ended up being Kelsey, Bernice, Kathleen and I for the rest of the day which was still really fun. We went to this chocolate shop where I bought homemade dark chocolate that was absolutely amazing! We just walked around York looking at all the different shops, and we went and saw the last remaining tower of a castle which was cool. At 5:30pm we went to the Final Battle of the Vikings.
The battle was really long, and my feet were killing me because we stood there for two hours watching vikings fight, a fire show, and finally the boat burning. Although it was long an extensive we definitely got our moneys worth and it was really neat. I mean honestly how often do you get to go to a Viking festival and see a boat burning? Exactly never haha.

We were going to go on a ghost tour but the battle ran too late, which I was kind of happy about. I don't really like that kind of thing and it was late at night so I didn't want to be thinking about that all night.
We were hoping since we were going to be leaving York earlier then expected that we could catch a bus back earlier but the next bust wasn't leaving until 10:08 and it was 8:20. Kathleen, Bernice, Kelsey and I decided to go find something to eat for dinner. We ended up eating at this Indian restaurant which was really good. Thankfully eating and talking, filled up most of our time that we had waiting for the bus.

Finally at around 11:30 we arrived back in Hull, and we were able to part ways and go home.
I was so exhausted and my feet were aching. I slept in this morning instead of doing my Jillian workout video, I definitely needed the sleep.

Now I must head off to church soon, in the cold snow =( hopefully it goes away soon!

As the Brits would say, "Cheers!"

The Hardest Part

The past two days have been very relaxed and laid back which has been really nice. Today Bernice and I went for a run and then we went to the gym for some weight training. This evening Bernice, Kelsey and I went to mass which was really fun and interesting. I have never been to mass before and it was neat to see how it all works I really enjoyed it.
We also were able to have a pretty deep discussion after which was challenging but insightful because it is always good to see new and different perspectives.

These past few days I have come to realize my true purpose here and why I was struggling so much in the beginning.
Since the start of my planning to study abroad I have been calling myself an "unofficial missionary" and instilling in my head that I was coming to England for more than just studying but to be on the mission field and that messed with me...in a negative way.
With that thought process I had the mindset that this experience would be one that you would get on a missions trip, a trip full of doing things for God. However, my purpose here is the exact opposite. God has been teaching me that while I am in England I am learning how to share and be like Jesus in my everyday life. I am learning what it truly means to live out Christianity on a day to day basis and not just on missions trip.

I think this concept is almost harder for me to fully take a hold of because I feel by not doing something I am almost inadequate. I was talking to my friend Emily earlier today and she made a really good point. I constantly read these books, and hear these sermons and I instantly feel convicted about not doing things so I get stuck on this mindset of constantly needing to do things for Christ. But being a Christian doesn't always mean doing sometimes we need to just be.

As I was walking home the other day I just felt God say to me

"Hey, you don't need to do anything, just be yourself. Live your life for me daily and that is enough."

I instantly felt at peace after hearing this. God is so right (of course), I got so caught up in this idea of doing and what I wanted to do here and my expectations of God, I never stopped to think that maybe God had different plans...which he did.

Even though God has had different plans for me his plans have been greater and more successful then mine could have ever been. He has allowed me to see how he is using me to work in other people's lives as well as show me how he is changing and molding me to be more like him.

Coming to England meant that I needed to be like Christ to the people around me, but it also meant that I needed to open to what God will be doing in my life.

I see more and more each day how God is continually solidifying my faith and belief in him through the new things he is teaching me and the people around me.
I am so grateful to finally have complete peace about being here and to have finally opened my eyes and ears to the things God is doing around me as well as within me.

It's funny how we know God's plan is perfect and he has never failed us but we still try to mess with his plan and do it on our own. I am glad I realized this sooner rather then later, who knows what I would have missed out on if I was too busy focusing on my plan rather than his.

Best Day Ever

Today wasn't really that much different then any other day!
I awoke early this morning and spent some time with my Jesus, checked my emails and got ready for the day. However, as I was getting ready the doorbell rang and at that moment I knew something excited was at the door for me! I ran to the door to see the delivery man holding two packages for me!! I was so excited to not only get my packages but to get them both at the same time.
I felt so incredibly loved as I opened up my packages this morning to discover all the goodies inside.
My mom sent me a lovely package with lots of things from home like good peanut butter, chips and salsa and my rice cakes. My lovely, wonderful and amazing friends Emily and Alida sent me a box full of gluten free foods as well as chocolate, teas, and granola bars! It was so nice to get stuff from home, I felt loved and like I got to see my friends and family (cheesy cheesy I know!)
After opening my packages I wrote some letters and postcards and waited for Bernice to come over.
Bernice and I went to financial aid to work out a problem I am having with them, it seems they have charged me a large sum of money that I do not owe them. They asked me to bring my bank statement so hopefully I can get it all figured out tomorrow! After our trip to financial aid, Kelsey, Bernice and I went and exchanged our tickets to go to Newcastle this weekend, instead we will be going to York to see a Viking Festival. It sounds really fun there will be battles and a boat burning, and we get to go to the stardome and see how the vikings navigated.
The three of us went to the post office so I could buy some stamps and send off my letters and postcards and then we stopped by another fruit stand so Bernice could buy some fruit.
I love all the fruit stands around here, their produce all comes from local farmers and it is fun to buy locally instead of from a big grocery store!
I went to my gender class today which was interesting to say the least. I just have a hard time understanding these feminist women, probably because I am not a feminist and don't have the same passions as they do. However it is interesting to learn about and it is a new perspective on life and people that I can learn to understand.
After class I met Kelsey and Bernice at the gym and we went to a circuit training class..it was so intense but I loved it! The instructor was tough but fun and we did not stop moving for an hour I will definitely be sore tomorrow!

I loved today, and as each day passes I am loving it here more and more.
Praise God, he is totally working here not only in my life but in the people around me!