*Warning this blog may be very long!*
Well, well, well, where to begin. A lot has happened and I have a lot I want to say and express but I am not quite sure where to begin. I have been meaning to write this blog for a while, though of starting it various different times and different ways, but I never had the proper amount of time.
But, alas here I am alone in Hull feeling really homesick and ready to get out everything I need to say so here it goes...I'll start from the beginning.
So last Saturday Barry and I waited together at the airport for my mom and grandma, delaying goodbye as long as possible. I really hate saying goodbye more than anything, the mere thought of it gets me teary eyed. Anyway, my mom and grandma were the last people to come through the gate due to delayed luggage, so I said hello to them and goodbye to Barry and didn't have much time to be sad about it. As I was walking with my mom and grandma to the train station my mom told me that she would be leaving about 4 days earlier then expected...completely changing our spring break plans once again.
Now before I go on, I want to stop here. At this moment, and various moments throughout our trip God humbled me. Since before I even came to England I had been talking to people about my spring break. I had been so excited that my mom and grandma were coming and all the places we were going to travel together, it was going to be incredible. I realized two things through this; one: It says in the Bible not to boast about tomorrow because you don't know what will happen. Well that is the humbling part of the lesson. I never really thought that I was bragging about my spring break, but it is quite possible that I was. God just showed me, hey before you get too carried away remember who is charge here. The second part: That there are things more important in life then travels and the places you get to see in life. This overlaps with the being humbled part because I felt so selfish for being sad that our plans had changed. My dad thank God, is going to have heart surgery so he doesn't get even more sick, and die and I am upset about a change of plans...how selfish. I quickly realized how selfish that was and immediately felt so humbled. Sure it is cool to say you've been to London, Paris, Greece, Morocco wherever but ultimately that doesn't matter.
On judgment day when I sit before my Father he isn't going to say, "Well done good and faithful traveler, you saw the world!" He is going to say (hopefully), "Well done good and faithful servant!" With that in mind I embraced the rest of the week as an opportunity to serve him as best as I could.
Okay so on with the story. From the airport we took two trains to get to London and then three trains from there just to get to our hotel, lugging around a backpack, a duffel bag, three purses, and three suitcases. By the time we got to our hotel we were exhausted, especially since none of us had slept in about a day.
Once we were settled in the hotel we were able to plan out the rest of the break, we had decided to just spend the week in London and take a day trip to Paris. We ended up finding a tour that would take us there and tour us around the city and see all the main sites for a fairly cheap price. We booked it and I was already feeling better, and just grateful to be with my mom and grandma since they almost didn't come at all.
Since we spent the majority of the week in London we were able to see all the sits that we wanted to see at a more leisurely and enjoyable pace because we were not packing everything into two or three days. I had so much fun with my mom and grandma and was just grateful to see them, hug them, and talk to them.
Our day trip to Paris was a lot of fun, we definitely did not have enough time to do everything and we all wish we could have spent a couple of days there but we still saw a lot and more then we had ever seen before.
Yesterday I had to say goodbye, which was a lot harder then I was expecting it to be. I of course cried and was so tempted to just get on the plane and go with them home but I am just too stubborn to do that. My mom and grandma boarded the plane at 9:45 and my train didn't leave to go back to Hull until 11:05. I sat in a cafe and ate breakfast trying to occupy my mind but it wasn't quite working. I started to leave and go to the train station and my duffel bag ripped, thankfully the top ripped so my stuff didn't fall out and I could still carry it.
I started reading my book while waiting for the train and the time went by pretty quickly, I had to change trains twice, which I didn't mind because it makes the time go faster.
I was pretty occupied with my book, my music and my journal. On the second train I decided to get out my card that my grandma had given me before she left. I read it and the tears started all over again. Grandma's know how to say things just the right way to make you cry, it was sweet though, but I hate crying in public so I quickly and quietly stopped crying before anyone could notice.
When I was on the bus back to my house I was feeling really sad thinking that I would be all alone and would spend too much time thinking and being homesick...thankfully God knows me so well and provided for me.
When I got home both of my roommates were there, and we talked for a while. Ida and I ended up making a late lunch/early dinner together and then later on Amandine and I had tea together and Ida came down and joined us in conversation. It was a great way for me to adjust to coming back home.
This morning however, was a different story. Though both of my roommates are here, they are shut up in their rooms. I have had my door open since I woke up hoping they would stop by to talk for a little but that hasn't worked too well. I had a quiet time with my Abba that was much needed. I have to remind myself I am not alone and that he has called me here, but a lack of physical presence is really hard especially since I haven't been alone for two weeks.
This morning as really been hard for me, I am at the half way point. I have been here for two months and I only have two months left. Part of me is like, okay I have lived here a while, I have traveled it's time to go home, and the other part of me. The part that knows I am done here is constantly reminding myself that God is not done with me yet, I still have some purpose here, even though I am not quite sure what it is, I am not done yet.
Deep down I know that is true, but it hard for me to see when I spend so much time alone, my thoughts get carried away and I turn into a worrying mess.
I again talked to Lulu this morning and she just encouraged me by telling me to remind myself why I am here, and to not focus on being homesick because it will just get overwhelming and I will get carried away. She is completely right. Plus God has provided for me in ways that still amaze me so I know he will continue to do so for this next half.
Well, well, well, where to begin. A lot has happened and I have a lot I want to say and express but I am not quite sure where to begin. I have been meaning to write this blog for a while, though of starting it various different times and different ways, but I never had the proper amount of time.
But, alas here I am alone in Hull feeling really homesick and ready to get out everything I need to say so here it goes...I'll start from the beginning.
So last Saturday Barry and I waited together at the airport for my mom and grandma, delaying goodbye as long as possible. I really hate saying goodbye more than anything, the mere thought of it gets me teary eyed. Anyway, my mom and grandma were the last people to come through the gate due to delayed luggage, so I said hello to them and goodbye to Barry and didn't have much time to be sad about it. As I was walking with my mom and grandma to the train station my mom told me that she would be leaving about 4 days earlier then expected...completely changing our spring break plans once again.
Now before I go on, I want to stop here. At this moment, and various moments throughout our trip God humbled me. Since before I even came to England I had been talking to people about my spring break. I had been so excited that my mom and grandma were coming and all the places we were going to travel together, it was going to be incredible. I realized two things through this; one: It says in the Bible not to boast about tomorrow because you don't know what will happen. Well that is the humbling part of the lesson. I never really thought that I was bragging about my spring break, but it is quite possible that I was. God just showed me, hey before you get too carried away remember who is charge here. The second part: That there are things more important in life then travels and the places you get to see in life. This overlaps with the being humbled part because I felt so selfish for being sad that our plans had changed. My dad thank God, is going to have heart surgery so he doesn't get even more sick, and die and I am upset about a change of plans...how selfish. I quickly realized how selfish that was and immediately felt so humbled. Sure it is cool to say you've been to London, Paris, Greece, Morocco wherever but ultimately that doesn't matter.
On judgment day when I sit before my Father he isn't going to say, "Well done good and faithful traveler, you saw the world!" He is going to say (hopefully), "Well done good and faithful servant!" With that in mind I embraced the rest of the week as an opportunity to serve him as best as I could.
Okay so on with the story. From the airport we took two trains to get to London and then three trains from there just to get to our hotel, lugging around a backpack, a duffel bag, three purses, and three suitcases. By the time we got to our hotel we were exhausted, especially since none of us had slept in about a day.
Once we were settled in the hotel we were able to plan out the rest of the break, we had decided to just spend the week in London and take a day trip to Paris. We ended up finding a tour that would take us there and tour us around the city and see all the main sites for a fairly cheap price. We booked it and I was already feeling better, and just grateful to be with my mom and grandma since they almost didn't come at all.
Since we spent the majority of the week in London we were able to see all the sits that we wanted to see at a more leisurely and enjoyable pace because we were not packing everything into two or three days. I had so much fun with my mom and grandma and was just grateful to see them, hug them, and talk to them.
Our day trip to Paris was a lot of fun, we definitely did not have enough time to do everything and we all wish we could have spent a couple of days there but we still saw a lot and more then we had ever seen before.
Yesterday I had to say goodbye, which was a lot harder then I was expecting it to be. I of course cried and was so tempted to just get on the plane and go with them home but I am just too stubborn to do that. My mom and grandma boarded the plane at 9:45 and my train didn't leave to go back to Hull until 11:05. I sat in a cafe and ate breakfast trying to occupy my mind but it wasn't quite working. I started to leave and go to the train station and my duffel bag ripped, thankfully the top ripped so my stuff didn't fall out and I could still carry it.
I started reading my book while waiting for the train and the time went by pretty quickly, I had to change trains twice, which I didn't mind because it makes the time go faster.
I was pretty occupied with my book, my music and my journal. On the second train I decided to get out my card that my grandma had given me before she left. I read it and the tears started all over again. Grandma's know how to say things just the right way to make you cry, it was sweet though, but I hate crying in public so I quickly and quietly stopped crying before anyone could notice.
When I was on the bus back to my house I was feeling really sad thinking that I would be all alone and would spend too much time thinking and being homesick...thankfully God knows me so well and provided for me.
When I got home both of my roommates were there, and we talked for a while. Ida and I ended up making a late lunch/early dinner together and then later on Amandine and I had tea together and Ida came down and joined us in conversation. It was a great way for me to adjust to coming back home.
This morning however, was a different story. Though both of my roommates are here, they are shut up in their rooms. I have had my door open since I woke up hoping they would stop by to talk for a little but that hasn't worked too well. I had a quiet time with my Abba that was much needed. I have to remind myself I am not alone and that he has called me here, but a lack of physical presence is really hard especially since I haven't been alone for two weeks.
This morning as really been hard for me, I am at the half way point. I have been here for two months and I only have two months left. Part of me is like, okay I have lived here a while, I have traveled it's time to go home, and the other part of me. The part that knows I am done here is constantly reminding myself that God is not done with me yet, I still have some purpose here, even though I am not quite sure what it is, I am not done yet.
Deep down I know that is true, but it hard for me to see when I spend so much time alone, my thoughts get carried away and I turn into a worrying mess.
I again talked to Lulu this morning and she just encouraged me by telling me to remind myself why I am here, and to not focus on being homesick because it will just get overwhelming and I will get carried away. She is completely right. Plus God has provided for me in ways that still amaze me so I know he will continue to do so for this next half.
Thank God for caring about me enough to call me here, and to provide and take care of me on this journey!
Also if you could continue to join me in prayer for my Father that would be wonderful!
Also if you could continue to join me in prayer for my Father that would be wonderful!
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